Feeling Nervous About Our New Mortgage... Am I Overthinking It?

I think it’s normal to feel a bit nervous after taking on a new mortgage, but I need to talk this out.

My wife and I make a combined total of 216.5k gross income and bring in about 11,500 a month net after contributions to her 401k, my pension, and health insurance.

We just bought a house for 675k, which is actually cheaper than similar houses around here, and it appraised for more than we paid.

We put down 20%, so our monthly payments including taxes and insurance are 4100, which is about 35% of our net monthly income.

We also have car payments of 1,000 and student loans totaling 800 a month, which brings us to 51% of our net income going toward debt.

On top of that, we have a baby on the way, which was a major factor in deciding to move. We wanted a better home in a good school district. By the time daycare kicks in, our car loans will be paid off (they’re almost done).

After covering all bills, utilities, loans, groceries, and smaller costs (like dog insurance and streaming), we’ll still have 3500 left for savings and fun. We have around 175k in savings and plan to build a deck soon, but we always want to have at least 8 months of expenses saved.

So, am I going crazy here? I used to look at these numbers and think, “We’re good,” but now I can’t shake this feeling like maybe I made a mistake.

Daycare will be a big expense, but with the car loans gone, it should be manageable. Plus, we’re not at the top of our earning potential yet, and raises are coming.

Honestly, it feels good to talk this through. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

You have 175k in savings. You’re more than fine.

Hadi said:
You have 175k in savings. You’re more than fine.

That’s definitely reassuring. I think part of my worry comes from the fact that we were paying 2200 a month at our old place and had more savings. Now, it feels like a big adjustment. Plus, many people would love to have 3500 a month left for saving and fun. It’ll be tighter than before, but overall, we’ll be okay.

@Niko
Yeah, I had similar worries with my first house, but after a few months, you’ll wonder why you were even concerned. As long as you’re not splurging on extravagant vacations or major purchases, you’ll keep your financial comfort. The biggest thing about homeownership is that there’s always something new to buy or fix, so make sure you have a little budget set aside for that. Keep up the good work!

Yeah, this is a big change. Many will see your savings and 3500 left over and think you’re good. It’s also clear this is a big shift for you.

I read this and think you’re in a good spot because you have flexibility. And don’t forget, you’ve got a nice new house and a baby on the way!

I heard on a show called ‘The Money Guys’ that this phase of life – with a home, kids, etc – is called the ‘messy middle.’ It’s a time when a lot happens and even when you’re doing well, things feel tight. We’re going through it too.

I’d encourage you to enjoy this phase and realize that, yes, things might feel tighter, but it’s also a time of life to cherish. It’s not all about saving money – a new home and a growing family are huge wins!

@Sam
Wow, I got a little emotional reading your comment. Thank you – I needed that. And you’re right about using the 3500 wisely. I want to save as much as I can, especially for a baby-moon, setting up the nursery, and covering some of my wife’s unpaid maternity leave. We’re lucky to have come from a house we’ve been in for nearly 14 years, so we won’t need to buy much new furniture.

@Sam
Life is like climbing a mountain – as it gets steeper, anxiety and doubts creep in. Just keep pushing. It goes fast. From someone on the other side, I still let doubts get to me.

Be ready for property tax increases. Are they low now? You have plenty of wiggle room though.

I’m in a similar situation, and my wife is stopping work to care for the baby. She’s a nurse, so she can return when she wants. Pay off the cars and ride them out as long as possible. Paying off student loans will also make a big difference in your peace of mind.

@Basil
We got a good estimate for property taxes, but I know they could change with new construction. I’ll look into contesting the amount if needed. And I agree – keeping the cars as long as possible will make a big difference.

I would try to get rid of those car payments as soon as possible. If possible, buy cheaper cars. That could help a lot with daycare costs. You’re in a good position – just stay on top of tracking your spending for a couple of months, and you’ll feel more comfortable.

You have 3500 a month for savings and fun – you’re doing better than 90% of the country! Let yourself enjoy your home and your new baby. It never feels like you’re quite ready, but you are.

You’ll definitely need the extra space for your growing family. You’ll be glad you got this house once the baby arrives. Congratulations – cherish these moments with your family. You’re going to be just fine financially.

@Sorrell
You’re right. I know deep down this was the right decision for my family.

With your savings, you’re fine. I was in a similar situation and opted out of buying a home at this price point because I didn’t want to be in a position where losing a job would have hurt us financially. With your situation, you’re in good shape. I’d consider refinancing in the future to lower the mortgage if possible.

@Bailey
Refinancing would be ideal. Hopefully, it’s possible in a couple of years, but we’ll have to see how things go. Thanks for the insight.

Just curious, why do people rush to buy in a good school district before their kids are even born? Don’t schools matter more when kids are 5 or 6? Why not wait and buy a house when the child is older to avoid high taxes and other costs?

@Cedar
Great question. The perfect house came up at the right time, and this area is becoming more desirable. Similar homes go for 750-800k, so who knows where prices will be in 5 years.

You’re fine. We were in the same situation before our first child. The first year was a bit stressful, but looking back, it was the best decision we made.

Does your wife make a lot more than daycare costs? You might be better off having her raise the baby instead.

Willoughby said:
Does your wife make a lot more than daycare costs? You might be better off having her raise the baby instead.

She’s actually the main breadwinner! My schedule is flexible, and my parents live close by. They’re committed to helping, so we may not have to pay for daycare at all in the first few years. But I’m not counting on that entirely.